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VARIOUS CONTEMPORARY PLAYWRIGHTS

Due to Copyright restrictions, listings only. Use these lists to help you get ideas. The first lines are provided. From this you should be able to glean whether a given piece is comic or serious or a combination of the two (serio-comic). In many cases you can get age appropriateness, as well.

The full monologues and many other ones from these same plays are available when you work with Larry. Once you narrow things down Larry encourages you to buy the play and put your monologue into context. Women's Monologues first; scroll down for Men's Monologues.

WOMEN

ABBY (THE MERCY SEAT/LaBute) --Ben, God, you can be so thick.
AMANDA (ADAM'S RIB/Gordon and Kanin) --Law, like man, is composed of two parts.
AMANDA (THE FOOD CHAIN/Silver) --PURSES!
ANGEL (MARISOL/Rivera) --I kick-started your heart, Marisol.
ANGIE (A GOOD SOLID HOME/Lhota and Milstein --I’m not asking you to engage in anything! I just want to talk.
ANGRY EMPLOYEE (GALAXY VIDEO/Morales) --Jerry, I want my job back.
ANN (AVENUE U BOYS/Pugliese) --The first time I saw Ed was more than a couple of years ago.
ANNE (ANNE OF A THOUSAND DAYS/Anderson) --Have you fallen into your own trap my lord?
BANANAS (THE HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVES/Guare) --I see a scene that you wouldn't see in your wildest dreams.
BENEATHA (A RAISIN IN THE SUN/Hansberry) --Brother is a flip--let's face it.
BEVERLY (ONE MONKEY DON'T STOP THE SHOW/Evans) --That French food is fine for the French, but I had to get me some chicken...
BEVERLY (ONE MONKEY DON'T STOP THE SHOW/Evans) --Like...well...meetin' somebody I like a whole lot...
BRIGID (KEY WEST/O’Brian) --It was a comfort most of the time.
BUNNY (THE HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVES/Guare) --Cook for you? Not till after we're married.
CALLIE (STOP KISS/Son) --They've finished building that building...
CALLIE (STOP KISS/Son) --Because we were kissing...
CANDI (CUTTING REMARKS/Lhota and Brodsky --They always want to blame the teachers.
CARLA (KENNEDY'S CHILDREN/Patrick) --I wanted to be a sex goddess.
CAROL (OLEANNA/Mamet) --The issue here is not what I "feel."
CAROL (OLEANNA/Mamet) --How can you deny it? You did it to me. Here.
CAROLYN (LOVE AND OTHER IMPOSSIBLE PURSUITS/Roos) --Sonia! Don't talk to her. William, get in the car.
CAROLYN (LOVE AND OTHER IMPOSSIBLE PURSUITS/Roos) --You didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand?
CATHARINE (WAITING FOR THE PARADE/Murrell) --When Billy and I were first married...
CLAIRE (A DELICATE BALANCE/Albee) --Warn me when she’s coming; I’ll act drunk.
CLAUDIA (NUTS/Topor) --Darlin', I am worth the trouble, take my word for it.
CLAUDIA (NUTS/Topor) --I get a hundred for a straight lay...
COLLEEN (CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRLS/Kurtti) --Sister told everyone to finish up...
CYNTHIA (GIRL'S GUIDE TO CHAOS/Heimel) --Dating. I will have to start dating again.
DAISY (DRINKING AND DRIVING/Eptein) --You, a guy with everything. Jesus. You talk about hypocrisy?
DOT (7 BLOWJOBS/Wellman) --Eileen, Eileen. Calm down....
EDNA (WAITING FOR LEFTY/Odets)* --Don't yell. I just put the kid's to bed...
ELLEN (PERSONALITY/playwright unknown**) --You look around and you see all these people you should be.
ELIZABETH (CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRLS/Kurtti) --Okay, everybody. This is church.
ELIZABETH (DEFYING GRAVITY/Anderson) --The day my mother actually left...
ELLEN (THE LITTLE DOG LAUGHED/Beane) --After the club Alex and I deplored...
ELSA (THE ROAD TO MECCA/Fugard) --There’s something about him I didn’t tell you, he’s married.
EMILY (DIGGING FOR FIRE/Hughes) --Well..it's all so corny, it's like Lana Turner on the stool at Schwab's.
EMILY (OUR TOWN/Wilder) --I'm not mad at you. Well, since you ask me....
EMILY (IN AND OUT/Rudnick) --You're sorry? After I waited for you my entire life?
EMMA (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --On our honeymoon in Italy, George didn't like the cologne....
FRANKIE (FRANKIE AND JOHNNY.../McNally) --You know what I think it was? The moonlight.
GEORGIE (SPIKE HEELS/Rebeck) --Bullshit. Fuck you, that is such fucking bullshit.
GEORGIE (SPIKE HEELS/Rebeck) --Like what? Like betrayal, maybe?
GIRL (AUTOBAHN/LaBute) --I was just so sure you were going to let me have it...
HARPER (ANGELS IN AMERICA/Kushner) --I burned dinner.
HAE-YOON (BFE/Cho) --My name is Hae-Yoon...
HAE-YOON (BFE/Cho) --I like your last letter very much...
HELEN (THE END OF DAY/Baitz) --But Sweetheart. You see, I don't think I can believe you.
HELEN (FAT PIG/LaBute) --Tom, you are aware that I like you.
HESTER (HELLO AND GOODBYE/Fugard) --Shut up! And wake up. Open your eyes!
HONEY (OPERATION SIDEWINDER/Shepard) --It's not going to hurt, is it?
INEZ (NO EXIT/Sartre) --To forget about the others? How utterly absurd!
INEZ (NO EXIT/Sartre) --Well, what are you waiting for? Do as you're told.
JANE (IDENTITY CRISIS/Durang) --You remember how in the second act Tinkerbell drinks some poison...
JANIE (ISN'T IT ROMANTIC/Wasserstein) --He's very sweet.
JENNIE (CHAPTER TWO/Simon) --You know what you want better than me, George.
JESSICA (HOLD PLEASE/Weisman) --I thought her severance speech was a real cop-out...
KATHRYN (THE ACCUSED/Topor) --Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Paulson has told you that the testimony...
KATIE (KATIE AND FRANK/Rebeck) --I bought a gun. I did. This morning I went out and bought a gun.
KARI (THE PAVILION/Wright) --...just listen, he was inside my body.
KARI (THE PAVILION/Wright) --"Hurt"? "Hurt" barely touches this.
KIM (PATIENT A/Blessing) --The first time I was tested for HIV...
LIDIA (TITANIC/Durang) --That was my favorite song in the whole world.
LI'L BIT (HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE/Vogel) --There were a lot of rumors....
LI'L BIT (HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE/Vogel) --I never saw him again.
LEONA (CONFESSIONAL/Williams) --When I come to new place...
LOUISE (TOP GIRLS/Churchill) --There you are, I've lived for that company....
LORNA (GOLDEN BOY/Odets)* --Because he needs me and you don’t.
LYDIA (SLIDING DOORS/Howitt) --I am trying to be your girlfriend, Jerry.
LYDIA (SPIKE HEELS/Rebeck) --No. No. You listen.
LYDIA (BIG LOVE/Mee) --You know, everything you say may be right...
LUISA (THE FANTASTICKS/Schmidt and Jones) --The moon turns red on my birthday...
MADELINE (WINCHELSEA DROUND/Nigro) --There's something about riding the bus at night...
MABEL CHILTERN (AN IDEAL HUSBAND/Wilde) --Well, Tommy has proposed to me again.
MARELA (ANNA IN THE TROPICS/Cruz) --I should write his name on a piece of paper...
MARIE (SEARCH AND DESTROY/Korder) -- Everybody's dead all over. Okay.
MARY (THE BALD SOPRANO/Ionesco) --Elizabeth and Donald are now too happy...
MARY-LOIS (ASCENSION DAY/Mason) --Hi, I'm Mary-Lois Becker and I'm from Spooner.
MAY (FOOL FOR LOVE/Shepard) --You want me to finish this story for you Eddie, huh?
MICHELLE (THE LAST SEDER/Meisel) --Ummm, excuse me....
MISS PAT (THE COLORED MUSEUM/Wolfe) --Welcome aboard the Celebrity Slaveship,...
MISS ENDOR (BIG DEATH AND LITTLE DEATH/Birnbaum) --Gary, I used to be a student here, just like you.
MISSY (A BLUE STREAK/Sweeden) --I'm not taking this aging thing well.
MONICA (SKINNY/Hesse) --Some people try to use nice words to describe skinny people.
MRS. RIVERTON (THE WAY OF ALL FISH--POWER PLAYS/
May and Arkin) -- But you can be. Anyone can be and I know how.
NAN (THREE DAYS OF RAIN/Greenberg) --What was hard was when he finally called...
NATALIE (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --I'll go then. I don't know what I said to make you angry.
NINA (THE SEAGULL/Chekhov) --Why do you say you kissed the ground I walked on?
OLGA (THE WOMEN/Luce) --Yeah. It was a couple of months ago. Us girls weren't busy.
PUNCHARELLA (AND MY NAME AIN'T PEACHES/McCree) --My name is...Well, they made a song about me...
PACE (THE TRESTLE AT POPE LICK CREEK/Wallace) --But you were wrong the other day.
PANNY (BFE/Cho) --Things happen all the time out here, things you can't explain.
PRUDENCE (BEYOND THERAPY/Durang) --Well, about a year and a half ago....
RHONDA (WOMEN OF MANHATTAN/Shanley) --I don't keep the sneakers because I still love him...
ROBIN (SOPHISTRY/Sherman) --Where were you? You weren't at dinner.
ROSE (THE WOOLGATHERER/Mastrosimone) --You may think it's funny but I was the last one to see them...
ROSSANAH (BRILLIANT TRACES/Johnson) --I was at my wedding, in the vestry getting ready to go in, and there he was.
RUBY (SUNDOWN NAMES AND NIGHT-GONE THINGS/Lee) --Listen to me a minute, OK? Just listen.
RUTH (BLITHE SPIRIT/Coward) --This is intolearble!
SALLY (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY/Ephron) --When Joe and I first started seeing each other...
SALOME (SALOME/Wilde) --There is no sound. I hear nothing. Why does he not cry out, this man?
SAM (SOME GIRLS/LaBute) --No, I overheard it once, just this one mention...
SHAYLEE (STONE COLD DEAD SERIOUS/Rapp) --Wynne, you know about six months ago I had a baby?
SISTER MARY (SISTER MARY IGNATIUS.../Durang) --Blah. You make me want to blah.
SISTER MARY (SISTER MARY IGNATIUS.../Durang) --I had twenty-six brothers and sisters.
SISTER MARY (SISTER MARY IGNATIUS.../Durang) --Now I thought I had already explained what happens after death...
SKYE (GENIUSES/Reynolds) --Hey, what is this?
SOPHIE (THE STAR-SPANGLED GIRL/Simon) --Mr. Cornell, ah have tried to be neighborly...
SUSAN (LOOSE ENDS/Weller) --Whenever I try to talk to you about something...
SYDNEY (THE ALTRUISTS/Silver) --Ethan, I have had it!
THERESA (BOY MEETS GIRL/Gilman) --When I was a freshman in college, I dated a guy who was a bartender.
TOPSY (THE COLORED MUSEUM/Wolfe) --Yoho! Party! Party! Turn up the music!
VELVET (NATIONAL VELVET/Bagnold) --Wants the horse? Can't have the horse.
VICKY (CINEMA LIMBO/Bradford) --I'm the kind of girl who takes pity on poor pathetic geeks...
WANDA (CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRLS/Kurtti) --My father comes home from work every night...
WILLY (THE ENDS OF THE EARTH/Panych) --Oh. I forgot I was here.
WOMAN (MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT/Chayefsky) --I'll tell you what it is...
WOMAN (DON'T BREATHE ON THE JOB/Davis) --This is what happened.
WOMAN (THIS IS HOW IT GOES/LaBute) --I wanted to be noticed. That's what it was.
WOMAN (CHECK, PLEASE/Tucker) --You're from Phoenix? That's in the desert, isn't it?


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*Compilation, edited for the purposes of a monologue.
**Know the playwright? Let me know!

MEN

ADAM (THE SHAPE OF THINGS/LaBute) --Me? Nah, we had some fun, right?
ALAN (P'TANG YANG KIPPERBANG/Rosenthal) -- You're beautiful, Ann.
ANDERSON (KES/Hines) --I was at Junior School, I think,
BELINSKY (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --It's too important for pity.
BELINSKY (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --Because the answer is not out there like America waiting for Columbus.
BELINSKY (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --I'm sick of utopias.
BOY (CONFESSIONAL/Williams) --In Goldenfield, Iowa, there was just one man like that.
BOY WILLIE (THE PIANO LESSON/Wilson) --Got a hundred acres. Good land.
BRUCE (7 BLOWJOBS/Wellman) --I am not a pervert, I am a man who does his job.
CHRIS (ALL MY SONS/Miller) --They weren't just men.
COLONEL (THE OLDEST LIVING GRADUATE/Jones) --Hobie Lowery and Tom Miller killed over there in France...
CORNELIUS (THE MATCHMAKER/Wilder) --Isn't the world full of wonderful things.
DAME EDNA (BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!/Humphries) --I don't know what you'd call it. Blind terror, I think....
DENNIS SHEPARD (THE LARAMIE PROJECT/Kaufman) --My son Matthew did not look like a winner.
DENNIS SHEPARD (THE LARAMIE PROJECT/Kaufman) --Matt's beating, hospitalization and funeral focused worldwide attention...
DETECTIVE MUNCH (LAW & ORDER/various) -- I took a chance...
EDWARD (SPIKE HEELS/Rebeck) --You would not believe the day I've had.
EDWARD (SPIKE HEELS/Rebeck) --A woman's soul? Andrew come back.
EL GALLO (THE FANTASTICKS/Schmidt and Jones) --You wonder how these things begin.
FERGUS (FINDING THE SUN/Albee) --If you think it's easy being my age, well....
FRANK (THE ENDS OF THE EARTH/Panych) --So, you seem I can't understand how I ever allowed myself to stand out...
GEORGE (THE ACTOR'S NIGHTMARE/Durang) --I wonder whose yacht that is.
GEORGE (OUR TOWN/Wilder) --Emily, I’m glad you spoke to me about that…
GIBSON (ARTICHOKE/Glass) --There is a little speech I must make...
HARRY (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY/Ephron) --I've been doin' a lot of thinking.
HARRY (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY/Ephron) --Friday. Helen comes home and she said....
HEDWIG (THE WILD DUCK/Ibsen) --Daddy! Daddy! Don't go away from me.
HERZEN (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --This is not a sensible conversation.
HERZEN (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --What do you want? Bread?
HERZEN (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --He's a free man because he gives away freely.
HUSBAND (THE OLD SETTLER/Redwood)* --No Ma’am. I used to work in a saw mill until my mama passed.
HOSS (TOOTH OF CRIME/Shepard) --So, we all went out to Pasadena to cruise the chicks.
IAN (ACTING MY LIFE/Holm) --Somehow I got through the first part of the play
IGOR (SOPHISTRY/Sherman) --I wouldn't even know where to start, Robin, I swear.
ISAAC (THE SUBSTANCE OF FIRE/Baitz) --Something has happened. The way in which people read.
JACK (SOPHISTRY/Sherman) --This is how it happened...
JACK (SOPHISTRY/Sherman) --I don't know if I can continue talking about...
JACK (THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST/Wilde) --I fear there can be no possible doubt about the matter.
JAY (LOST IN YONKERS/Simon) --He’s afraid of her the same as Aunt Bella.
JEDADIAH (THE LARAMIE PROJECT/Kaufman) --I've lived in Wyoming my whole life.
JEDADIAH (THE LARAMIE PROJECT/Kaufman) --There are certain things when I sit in church.
JOCKO (GENIUSES/Reynolds) --This is it, this is it! I've got it!
JOEY (HONUS AND ME/Dietz) --But I didn't throw it away. I'm a collector.
JOEY (HONUS AND ME/Dietz) -- I pulled his cap way down over my eyes and sat at the end of the dugout.
JOHN (OLEANNA/Mamet) --What was the price of this security?
JOHN (THE RED COAT/Shanley) --I left the party 'cause I felt like everything I wanted was outside....
JOHNNY (FRANKIE AND JOHNNY.../McNally) --I'll tell why I was laughing.
JOHNNY (FRANKIE AND JOHNNY.../McNally) --There are some delicatessens I just won't go into...
JOHNNY (FRANKIE AND JOHNNY.../McNally) --That's your trouble.
LEO (CHAPTER TWO/Simon) --Really? I'll invite you to sleep in our bedroom...
LEO (CHAPTER TWO/Simon) --Not me. I need something new.
LEO (PARADISE LOST/Odets) --No! There's more to life than this.
LYMON (THE PIANO LESSON/Wilson) --Mostly they be lonely and looking for somebody...
LUCAS (LAUGHTER ON THE 23rd FLOOR/Simon) --I guess this is what I’ve dreamed of my whole life.
MALACHI (THE MATCHMAKER/Wilder) --A purse.
MAN (COLUMBUS AVENUE/Mamet) --I felt the cold steel of a gun against my head three times.
MAN (HOT N' THROBBING/Vogel) --Calm down--I don't have a job, I've got no fuckin' family...
MAN (HOT N' THROBBING/Vogel) --I mean, the truth is...the truth is...
MAN (THE DOG/Mamet) --Talk about a dog!
MAN (THIS IS HOW IT GOES/LaBute) --...okay. This is how it goes...
MATT (THE FANTASTICKS/Schmidt and Jones) --There is this girl.
MATT (RED LIGHT WINTER/Rapp) -- Look Christine or Christina or whatever your name is....
MATTHEW (PATIENT A/Blessing) --You knew some people who died of AIDS? I knew hundreds.
MAX (THE HOMECOMING/Pinter) --He talks to me about horses.
MICHAEL (VOYAGE/Stoppard) --Agriculture? I'd rather kill myself than study agriculture.
PECK (HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE/Vogel) --Li'l Bit--you're scared.
PETER (THE PAVILION/Wright) --But what if there's a thing called destiny...
PHIL (BOY'S LIFE/Korder) --I would have destroyed myself for this woman.
PHILIP (KEY EXCHANGE/Wade) --So great. We get keys made for each other's apartments.
PHILIP (THE VERTICAL HOUR/Hare) --I know you won't believe it because it's unbelievable--
PORTNOY (PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT/Roth) --Then there's an expression in English, "Good morning,"...
PRIOR (ANGELS IN AMERICA/Kushner) --Companionship. Oh.
PRIOR (ANGELS IN AMERICA/Kushner) --But still. Still. Bless me anyway.
RAULITO (LANDSCAPE OF THE BODY/Guare) --Yes! For you and Mr. Right---
ROY (LONE STAR/McLure) --You know what I love. I love my wife. I love my country. And I love my car.
REACH (DOWN THE ROAD/Blessing) --You want to know how it feels? I'll tell you
RONALD (ABSURD PERSON SINGULAR/Ayckbourn) --I mean, something happened. Something must have happened.
RONNIE (THE HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVES/Guare) --The doorbell rang.
SAL (THE MOONLIGHT ROOM/Skyler) --What do you know? Your mom’s with someone. She’s happy.
SAMMY (THE DARK AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS/Inge) --You know, I've never been to many parties, have you?
SID (WAITING FOR LEFTY/Odets) --But it's relative, like the professors say.
SLEPSOV (SALVAGE/Stoppard) --It's difficult to ask him, since he's doing fourteen years hard labour.
STANKEVICH (VOYAGE/Stoppard) --Schelling's God is the cosmos...
STANKEVICH (VOYAGE/Stoppard) --The inner life is more real, more complete...
THEO (THREE DAYS OF RAIN/Greenberg) --It came to me whole.
TOM (FAT PIG/LaBute) --I think you are an amazing woman...
TOM (FOR WHOM THE SOUTHERN BELLE TOLLS/Durang) --I didn't go to the moon. I went to the movies.
TURGENEV (SHIPWRECK/Stoppard) --I'm not pure spirit, but I'm not society's keeper either.
TURGENEV (SALVAGE/Stoppard) --Oh, yes...the nihilist. You're right, we haven't met before.
VAIL (ONCE IN A LIFETIME/Kaufman and Hart) --Yes. Yes. You see, Doctor...
VANDERGELDER (THE MATCHMAKER/Wilder) --Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools...
WALKER (THE ENDS OF THE EARTH/Panych) --Life had always seemed to me a little like Bingo.
WARREN (THIS IS OUR YOUTH/Lonergan) --Yeah, so after he threw me out....
WARREN (THIS IS OUR YOUTH/Lonergan) --It is sort of amazing that one of us actually died.
WILLIE (THIS PROPERTY IS CONDEMED/Williams) --We used to have a high old time in that big yellow house.
WILLIE (ATHIEST COMEDY/Riekki) --Well, I’m unemployed still. And I haven’t been getting along with my girlfriend.
YOUNG MAN (CONFESSIONAL/Williams) --This boy I picked up tonight...
YVAN (ART/Reza) --So, a crisis, insoluble problem, major crisis...


More--Like, soon.

*Compilation, edited for the purposes of a monologue.
**Know the playwright? Let me know!

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